Wasted

I was drying my hair this morning praying a pray I received at Leadership Summit last month thanking God for the opportunity he has given me to speak of him in many different circumstances, and promising to give him my time. I stopped. I have been praying that prayer for  over a month and I couldn’t help but think of all the times I have wasted just in this month having my own agenda. Sure I have spent time with him in many different ways, but I have also wasted A LOT of time watching pointless shows, looking at Facebook for the hundredth time, and many more pointless things. Don’t get me wrong I understand that 100% of our time in reality won’t be spend reading the bible and listening to sermons but that’s just the start of spending time with him. We can spend time with him not matter what our activity or routine is all day. BUT how much time do we waste that could be spent with him? I am a sucker for reality shows, my thought process usually goes like this “ It’s been a long day and I want to relax so I think I’m going to watch the newest episode of The Bachelor Pad.” What happens is I am very entertained for about an hour, the show ends and I am not as relaxed as I hoped to be. I am not fulfilled, renewed, or any other life giving emotion. Now when I read my bible, a Christian book, listen to a Sermon, turn some worship music on, or simply just talk to him I always find what I need. I find restoration, hope, joy, and truth just to name a few. But yet I still find myself wasting time, in fact today I have probably already wasted time that I could have used differently.

A story in Luke 10:38-41 of wasted time concentrating on things that didn’t matter went something like this (paraphrased) Martha was getting everything ready because JESUS had stopped by her house. She was preparing the food, picking up, etc. Now Mary her sister realized that TIME spent with Jesus was the most important thing, and was listening to what he had to say. Martha gets mad because she is doing all the work, tells Jesus to make her sister help and Jesus said “ Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed- or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” Oh how I can relate to Martha! She thought she was doing what needed to be done but really all she needed was time spent with her LORD.  Even if you don’t waste your time on pointless reality shows like I do, this story is a clear example that we sometimes waste time on things we may think need to be done but really don’t. We NEED to seek our LORD first, We NEED to spend time in his word, WE NEED to spend time with the one that cannot be taken from us.

I am NOT strong enough

I am a very strong willed girl when it comes to certain things. As a matter of fact this weekend my Dad called me his strong willed daughter. Nothing makes me as mad as when someone makes a statement that because I’m a girl I can’t do it. This has caused me to get into many burn outs playing catch with guys who think I can’t throw harder, leaving bruises on my brother in law because he was teasing me, moving furniture that I was told was too heavy for me, taking care and mowing my yard when asked “sweetheart can I do that for you”,  and many more countless things just so I can say see I AM strong enough! BUT get ready because I am about to say something that I don’t say often, “I AM NOT strong enough!” Through a set of multiply events in my life this morning I got to my knees and said “God I can’t do it, I’m not strong enough, I mess up, I can’t handle it any longer.” Now I firmly believe God talks to everyone in different ways and at different times. I by no means think he answers me with a clear auto voice every time I cry out to him but within an instance I heard “I am your strength” my weary soul that was close to giving up was lifted, my heart that was broken felt like it was mending, and my strength that had diminished was renewed. I so often feel like I can do it, I don’t need anyone because quite frankly I do not want to be seem weak. But what a joy it is to be weak because in my weakness I find his strength.

“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”2 Corinthians 12:9-10

I always think I can do it on my own, I think that my strength is enough but it never is. It never is sufficient, and it runs out way too quickly. But God the creator of the earth who is all powerful gives power to the weak and weary. When I rely on my own strength, when I think I can do it on my own I become exhausted and feel as if I can’t go on. But Praise be to my God who renews my strength, who is powerful when I am weak. So now instead of saying I am strong enough, I am going to start saying HE is strong enough and I am weak, because when I am weak, then I am strong

“Have you not known? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God,   the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength;   they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary;   they shall walk and not faint.” Isaiah 40:28-31

Bitterness weed

A few days ago I decided to take on the big task of cleaning up my back yard, the one thing on my to do list I had been putting off. Now the reason I had been putting it off was because in just a few weeks my weed free yard from the last cleanup had become a weed infested mess! I looked out my back window every day at these weeds and I finally couldn’t take it anymore. I got my work clothes on, and hauled my trash can to my backyard to start working. I bent down to pull the first large group of weeds and found that what looked like many different weeds was one plant. One plant that had one root that had spread itself so much on the surface it was taking over a large portion on the ground. I couldn’t believe it, now could this little bitty root of a plant take over my whole yard? What looked like a mountain of a mess had been caused by about five single plants. The yard clean up I had been delaying in fear of it taking all day, and a lot of work took me about twenty minutes of good solid pulling. My weed problem reminded me of what bitterness has done to my life the last couple of years. One small sentence or action that left me bitter towards family or friends quickly grew into a wide spread weed that overtook my life. You see this bitterness I held towards others unable to forgive like Christ forgave me only hurt me. I spend months and years saying under my breathe “Well this is all their fault! How could they had done me so wrong, not loved me like they should’ve, judged me, and said hurtful words.” I held so tightly to bitterness, rage, and anger that I was only making the weed spread even more over my life. Even when I didn’t want it to bitterness ruled, it kept me from moving forward towards freedom. It kept me enslaved to its life sucking manner. I wanted freedom but fell short until it hit me that the bitterness I had held onto for so long needed to be let go. I had a Savior who came to forgive my sins, who took everything for me while I was still a sinner. I did not deserve this precious sacrifice, but yet I sill received it. I sat in the joy of being forgiven but still did not forgive others. Ephesians 4:31-32 says this “31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

Bitterness had done nothing for me! It didn’t change the hurt, and quite frankly no matter how much I tried to pay them back for what they did to me I never felt relief. Don’t get me wrong I still strive for this everyday but once I started to forgive others for the wrong I felt they had done me I started to feel freedom. Inside what had been a mess of weedy bitterness and anger started to get weeded away to forgiveness and love. Bitterness starts small and begins to overtake you just like the weeds did my yard. Don’t let it invade your life any longer!  Let go of the anger and bitterness you hold and forgive like Christ forgave you.